11. Why oh why?

Now is 3:00 pm when i've finally decided to write another post in this blogsite of mine..

It was yesterday of about 6pm when i've found out of *his* leaving..We've been texting lately but never did he mentioned of this.. I never thought i'd be sad like this when i've realized he's finally nowhere in our city..why oh why?..suddenly i felt emptiness..i felt like crying..

When i am about ready to be close with him again, he then moved away..Last night for me was indeed a heavy night..i feel so sad and down..not knowing why..why can't i actually tell the reason of my loneliness..do i like him that much?..or i love him without admitting it to myself..

It's really hard for me to say i don't feel a thing for him coz i can't resist the effect of his every move towards me..

I just can't believe the song MULI would never happend to me and him again..

*maaari bang dinggin ang natatangi kong hiling..sana ay makapiling kang muli..muli kang masilayan, at muli kang mahagkan..sana ay makapiling kang muli*

we were about ready to kiss and hug, not knowing where that would lead us.. just to find out how we would feel again doing it after 3 long years of no physical contact..to do that affectionate gestures was a most awaiting event for the two of us..

what happens next?..when will i ever see him?..when will i ever feel him?..

so sad...dunno what to do..it's like am not excited to go to church anymore coz i know wherever i may go..in any part of the church i won't be able to see him.. even just a glimpse of him..a ray of his crzy smile..

Am i still inlove with him?..i thought i already fell out?..but..hayyY..am i in denial stage..why is he not texting me?.. X_X

I wish he'd realize i may be concern too..i may be thinking of his whereabouts too..

I wish he'd dream of me tonight so he'd know i am thinking of him before i go to sleep..

haYyyYy so sad...can't explain..all i know is that..lately he's the only one who inspires me..that one who makes me smile a lot..the one who actually brightens up mah day..i wish i did the same for him...bye for now..till next time..